July 15, 2009 9:17 p.m.

Peeling back the rind to find a juicy center. My last fifteen minutes.

Tonight I began systematically purchasing fruit in a futile effort to stave off my inevitable demise. The fruit has been acquired with the intent of consumption, kind of like when you bought that Nautilus Bowflex machine with the intention of getting back into shape. Now it sits in your rec room room, mocking you, and performing admirably as a constant reminder that even your most modest aspirations are apparently unattainable.

I have the same relationship with fruit. For example, I just purchased more grapes than I have ever consumed previously over the course of my life, which is equivalent (in weight) to approximately one and a half pounds. This is not an exaggeration. And when faced with my failure, and the fact that I don't really (as it turns out) like grapes that much, I will bring them to work where frankly anything could happen to them. My wife thinks I'm being healthy, and I don't have to process the silent mockery of a bag of grapes on a daily basis. Everybody wins. Try doing that with a Nautilus.

Not that all of my exposure to fruit have been unpleasant. Some of my favorite fruit related experiences:

Orange juice
A slice of lime in my gin and tonic
The poem "This Is Just To Say" by William Carlos Williams
Watermelon Bubble Yum


This Is Just To Say

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

--William Carlos Williams

This Is Just My Dinner

I have eaten
several tacos
that I found in a
Mexican restaurant
near our house

although I purchased
grapes and told you
earlier
that I would eat them
for dinner

Forgive me
they were delicious
so warm
and so crunchy

--Jack Altmiller