June 10, 2009 4:24 p.m.

Relax. You are feeling very sleepy. And now, my last fifteen minutes.

Bob Slydell: You see, what we're actually trying to do here is, we're trying to get a feel for how people spend their day at work... so, if you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?

Peter Gibbons: Yeah.

Bob Slydell: Great.

Peter Gibbons: Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh heh - and, uh, after that I just sorta space out for about an hour.

Bob Porter: Da-uh? Space out?

Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk; but it looks like I'm working.

Peter Gibbons: The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.

My office is strangely quiet. The only constant sounds are the hum of my computer and the distant pecking of keyboard from a cubicle outside, as I sit in a dark office that looks like it came straight from the set of a David Fincher movie. The sound of my thoughts, normally loud and distracting, are now dark and syrupy. I have to get out of here right now. Slipping out the back door. I'm done with you people.

I am missing.

June 6, 2009 8:38 a.m.

They can't all be winners. My last fifteen minutes.

The Lord have mercy and protect us, I've been eating soup for breakfast. I make odd food choices. This is widely understood.

I just realized what Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup tastes like: disappointment mixed with acceptance. It is the comestible incarnation of your sense that you will probably never even graze the bottom of your aspirations, but that, on the bright side, you probably won't starve to death. Cold comfort in a warm bowl.

I feel nourished.

June 3, 2009 9:38 p.m.

Consciousness, diffuse and slippery, cries for a narrative. Therefore: my last fifteen minutes.

Falling into the rabbit hole of Facebook, I realize how this new drug acts as an intensifier. Excitement becomes expanded. Sadness is now more textured. Boredom finds a new sun to orbit. I took the Facebook "How Annoying Are You?" test and learned that the answer was "Incredibly" [capitalization in original]. When will the "How Ironic Is This?" test be available? I can't wait. Seriously.

I feel vacant.

May 30, 2009 8:38 p.m.

Temporal joy and momentary regret. My last fifteen minutes.

I just watched a good beer die.

May 14, 2009 1:05 p.m.

An epicurean odyssey. A culinary apocalypse. My last fifteen minutes.

Hit and run at Chipotle, and now this guy is working its way through my intestinal justice system, just trying to taste freedom like Andy Dufresne. Will it come out angry, or will it escape triumphantly?

May 12, 2009 12:16 a.m.

It's all coming at you. Brought to you with a smile. My last fifteen minutes.

Spending the last fifteen minutes in South Carolina with my best friend Mike. Talking about politics, religion and--of course--my blog. There's a name in computer programming for the this self-referential loop. But Mike can't remember this term. It frustrates him. Failure unfolds before me. My time slips away.

I am at sea.

May 4, 2009 8:15 a.m.

Fifteen minutes ago I was asleep. It was bliss.

May 3, 2009 1:02 p.m.

Sharing my momentary existence. My last fifteen minutes.

It's raining now. On my way back from the Jiffy Lube, I bought a bubblope at CVS for my wife. As I begin to work, I can hear the muted sound of the rain on the deck. The lights are out in the house, and the day seems coated with the gray patina of emptiness. Everything is broken.

I'm tired.

May 2, 2009 11:14 p.m.

This is dedicated to the moment. Life as it happens. The last fifteen minutes of my life.

What have I been up to? Let's see. Well, I've been typing this post. Before that I set up this blog. That took a few minutes. Of course, I had to come up with the idea. Actually, that didn't take long. I was watching the basketball game before that--wait, that might have been twenty minutes ago. Things haven't been that eventful. It's not like I've been grabbing life by the throat lately.

What I've really learned in the last fifteen minutes is that the moment is usually rather uninteresting, at least in comparison to what has happened and what will happen. I have come to grasp the true nature of futility and despair. Don't bother. Most ideas aren't that great, and this is one of them.

I'm bored.